Thursday, August 23, 2007
Two Rachels And A Father
Its been months since my last blog posting.
Many things have happened since then.
As i write this blog, like camera flashes, the events that have
transpired since April, come rushing in my thoughts.
And one that seem to gain top most in my mind is how my two seemingly like-Rachels in my life have gone
their separate ways - -
The first Rachel in my life is my eldest daughter.
"Twinkle Toes" as i would call her, in many ways, has left as she chose to take a different path in her life.
I will always remember the time when she was just a toddler. Clinging to me with a vise-like grip. She often would yell a cry, if i leave her even just for a moment.
She would sleep on top my wide-belly, cuddling her milk-bottle. I would stoop down and stare at her angel-like face for hours and hours until i too, would fall asleep.
I still recall that everytime i go home, she would run to me in a tip-toe like manner and with open arms, give me a tight hug that meant "Papa I miss you very much".
I thought i will always be ready when the time to finally let her go as she goes through that path
of being an adult and independent of her father.
Recently, i have come to terms to this fact.
And no matter how ready i thought i was, the pain and sadness was just too much for me to bear.
It was a roller-coaster emotional ride for me.
Wanting to let her be while at the same time, wanting to be the protective father i've always been.
And at the end, it was a change that must eventually happen.
My daughter has transformed to become an independent woman with her own set of rules and beliefs.
Different from that of her father. LIke opposing parties in a government. Like warring countries.
Despite all that tension-filled drama that both me and my daughter went through, my feelings seem to point of being proud of my "twinkle-toes".
For I may disagree on how she should live her life, her solid stance and firm conviction of her beliefs, wrongly it may seem, are the kind, if shaped and molded positively by time , are traits of how leaders are made of.
My journey of seeing my daughter's life unfolding from a distance has begun. Her little, tiny, tip-toe steps
are now characterized into big leaps of faith.
The other "Rachel" in my life, is "Rachelle", who i consider not only my protege but almost like my adopted daughter.
Rachelle has gone and left to Indonesia for a regional job stint. I fondly remember the first time this trailblazing and maverick lady stepped into my office - - sometime 6 years ago - - her eyes show her passion to be mentored and her line of thinking, though rough at that time, were clearly diamond-like waiting to be sharpened.
"kid", the nickname i chose for her, has now blossomed to become one helluva of a strategic media planner. Inspite of her accomplishments that deserved her a regional post, "kid" remain the "kid" i used to know - - bratish yet kind, tough yet gentle and still with that unique giggle-like laughter that never fail to send chills of fun in me.
She wrote me a note recently. Thanking me for all that i have done to mentor her. Her note, though in many ways made me smile and sent cheerlike bubble in my heart, i felt sad.
Because like most fathers in this world, it was clearly the time for me to accept that my "kid" has grown up and is on her way to discover new challenges in her life.
An anonymous poet once wrote "the only permanent thing in life is change".
To a large extent, change is the only thing constant in life.
However, i believe that, though the surrounding circumstances in life is changing, there are still crucial things in life that remain the same.
Like a parent's love for their children. A parent love will always remain unconditional. No matter the test of time and
the challenges in life. A father will continue to love his daughter with the same love and protective embrace.
Like a mentor's pride of having "sharpened the talents and skills of his protege". Even if, the protege may have moved
ahead, the mentor will always look back with same sense of "positive pride" about his protege. Always proud. Always looking back the way it was.
For if life is all about changes, what is there left in life worth living for?